Is it just me or am i losing interest in american shows? i think its me.

A fleeting feeling?
or something more.
Once again dealing,
With that half opened door.

its a peaceful night. finally a night i can sleep in. Yang Shun asked me the other day if this is really the working life that i want? I replied, "why not? There isn't anything holding me back." I stunned myself when i heard the words come out, but as fearful as it sounds, it is true.

Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.

Just the simplest of tunes is enough when it comes right out of your core. Songs that desire to be shared; shared to people that hold your heart. Please dont be scared.

Jolted awake by a horrid dream only to find that my alarm was ringing as well. snoozed for another 20mins, before realising i'm gonna be late if i did not get up. Still pondering over life's what ifs and could bes only to vaguely remember myself always advising friends that the present is in the now. but somehow i always shun my own advice.

I rmb u once asked me why am i so jaded? haha. i have no idea why.

Why did my family almost break up?

Why did my friend betray me, hack my account and send sexual emails to all my female teachers?

Why did i almost die in a car crash?

The endless amount of insurmountable whys eventually gave way. Once, a little boy looking at life through a rose-painted glass which was mercilessly broken.

I still believe in the innate good of all things; i seek out the positive results in life and hold steadfast to the dream that somehow it'll all become better. Because somewhere down there is still that same little boy, untainted by the filth of the world, whom is someone that nobody can take away. But, there always is a but, he will constantly be suppressed within, protected from experiencing the pains of the world.

Life is a game. The only problem is even when you lose, you still gotta keep playing.

Death is a fisherman, the world we see
His fish-pond is, and we the fishes be;
His net some general sickness; howe'er he
Is not so kind as other fishers be;
For if they take one of the smaller fry,
They throw him in again, he shall not die;
But death is sure to kill all he can get,
And all is fish with him that comes to net.

Sometimes i still wonder, why are we alive for.

and just like this, i'm once again reminded of the fragility of life.

It doesnt sleep, it doesnt eat.

it just comes and takes away; leaving behind the pieces for loved ones to pick up only to find that it can never be whole again.

RIP Jude, though i've only met u once, i can see how much of a person u are by the way you treat junchyi.

you are just mind blowing.

"The transient nature of the intangible, makes it all the more worthy. We just need to constantly remind ourselves of its value ; the beauty which lies in the austere simplicity often disregarded. We must try to remember not to forget."

ur posts on ur thots abt life just constantly gives the chills.

A peace and calming night, one we have not seen for many days. The still air, no a single gust of wind to cool the room. The only sound in the night is the crisp guitar plucking of sungha jung through my music player and the occasional vroom of cars along clementi avenue.

It brings a serenity i have long yearned for in a long time.

Is this all? maybe it is coupled with the fact that i finally come to terms with what i have lost. Looking through your photos, i see a smile i dearly miss, a face i haven touched for a long time; a person that i have to now accept will not be in my life anymore. Even as you prepare to fly back home tonight for a few months, i guess this is a start of a new beginning for you, a fresh start. I'm sure you got your first class honours and the euroaqua research position. I wish you all the best because knowing you, you will go very far in life. Goodbye hh.

I went for sungha jung and preston reed with lion the other day. It was wonderful to see her after so long. We missed the first song because we went lau pat sat to eat. ha. But all in all, the whole concert was wonderful! Sungha with his more modern fingerstyle play and songs, while preston reed plays much more traditional fingerstyle methods. Would have to say i still enjoyed hotel california the most because it brings me back to my childhood where i would watch the Eagles, live in the Grand Ballroom, on LD. Those were actually good times from my past that i guess i will never forget. Great times i spend with my dad, just chilling in the living room, listening to bands like eagles, bad company, rod steward. haha.

After which we went to get yoguro! not a super fan of yoghurt but it actually was quite nice. lol. The more surprising thing was i met my entire ex cell group there at raffles city! lion and i were like going up the escalator then i saw sherill, then ruth, then basically everyone else. haven seen them since pf's wedding, i guess they are all doing well. =). Then saw Elaine, Serene they all while queuing for yoguro, had a brief chat. Kinda left lion there for a few minutes. So sorry! Then we headed to chijmes and sat down to chat and catch up; and i still feel that u are relatively guarded. ;).

really hope one day i will be able to understand u fully :).

Guess wad, u are also flying off today. lol. Have a wonderful time in Germany, i'm sure it'll be great!(don even know if u still read here)

Yeah, its time to look forward and move ahead. But nothing without labour, right? work for that second uppers!